Welcome to my blog.

Those of us who are afflicted with that old malady, insomnia, know how many hours we spend at night trying to turn our brains off and go to sleep. We toss and turn, look at the clock every hour or two, and fight the frustration of knowing the alarm will ring soon. We have to,”Rise and shine”, put a smile on our face, and go to work. Just like the rest of the world.

When I was young, my thoughts ran to bills, my marriage, the kids, and co-workers. Did I remember to lock the door? Did I send that payment to the electric company? Boy did I put my foot in my mouth the last time I saw, (insert name here). I would run problems through my head half the night and solved quite a few.

Then there is pain. Nighttime is the perfect place to weep when someone you love has betrayed you or broken your heart. It’s also the best time to rehash offences, grudges, and to allow conversations in your head when you finally know what you wish you had said. “Why didn’t I think of saying so-and-so, when that happened?”

Times change. Years pass. We grow older and hopefully, wiser. Now our night thoughts turn from children to grandchildren. From problems at work to budgeting a fixed income. From grudges and pain to forgiveness and understanding. We begin to realize that we are all human. We all make mistakes. Some are thoughtless and some are vicious, but dwelling on them poisons our own soul and doesn’t affect the offender at all. Forgiveness is for our own benefit, not theirs. Their offences are between them and God. We can rest in the knowledge that He will handle it.

Once I reached this point, I found that my thoughts turned to other subjects. Night after night my mind thinks of things that I wish I could say to a grandchild, a friend, or a stranger who is facing a problem and doesn’t know where to get advice. Things that I believe are important about faith, family, politics, and finding the purpose of our existence.

During this past year I have been unable to rid my mind of these thoughts, even to the point where not sharing them seems wrong. A string of seemingly unrelated circumstances have led me here, to this blog. I hope you will come back often to read my Thoughts In The Night.

About Wanda

Comments

  1. Very nice article, Mama! 🙂

  2. Like you I suffer from the dreaded insomnia, and am glad that our thoughts are almost identical old friend. Mine are also filled with “I wish I had” thoughts. I wish I had known you better, I wish I had known of the conflict that attacked your sole and of course the “I wish I had done something different with my life!” Whomever coined the phrase, “If I knew then what I know now…..” sure knew what they were talking about!!

    I will continue to check back frequently, hoping to get another glimpse into the special person that you’ve become and, of course, to ask for advice and/or a special prayer.

    Until then may I say goodnight, sweet dreams, God Bless You and I love you. Your friend Barbara

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